Does it feel like you have two versions of you: The unburdened version of you BEFORE your traumatic event happened, then the version of you that now struggles AFTER your traumatic experience. The version of you now feels alone, angry, tired or simply broken.

You’re tired of feeling caught in this cycle:

• You can’t stop thinking about your experience, and with it, comes an awful feeling, from heart palpitations to stomach issues.

• You’ve noticed that you are much more distracted and unable to concentrate. 

• You feel anxious when you think about going to places or being around people that remind you of the experience you wish you could forget.

• You feel powerless in how you respond when exposed to those “triggers” and wonder if it will EVER get better.

• Your body is stuck in fight, flight, freeze or fawn mode, and feels hyper-vigilant for any threat or danger.

You wish you could hurry up and get better, but it feels like it’s actually gradually getting worse.  

What is trauma ? 

Trauma is an adverse or life threatening experience or event you have experienced or witnessed that leaves you feeling like you have one foot stuck in the past and one wanting to move forward.  

“Not all trauma ends in PTSD, but all PTSD starts with trauma.”

Trauma feels like a dirty word. Or a word that means you are a victim.  Oftentimes, people don’t feel like they ever experienced trauma, and their life changing event was not THAT big of a deal.   What if we just defined trauma as a less than ideal event or an adverse experience?  You might have also heard the terms “Big T” and “Little T” Traumas. 

“Big T” Trauma can lead to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Big T events include, but are not limited to:

• Witnessing or experiencing a horrific accident, physical attack or the death of a loved one

• Being neglected, abandoned, or sex trafficked

• Sexual Assault

• Physical Abuse/Domestic Violence

• Natural Disasters

• Acts of Terrorism or Mass Shootings

Then there are ‘Little T” traumas. These are things that when you run a movie of your life, they may be the things that make you cringe or feel some level of emotional discomfort inside. They include, but are not limited to, events such as

• Mean words directed at you (not to the level of persistent bullying)

• Loss of a job

• The end of a relationship

• Moving to a new city

• Experiencing an emotionally absent parent

Trauma is not defined by the event itself, but it's about the individual’s personal response to the event. Meaning:

Two people could be in the same accident, and one experiences PTSD while the other looks at that event like it was a minor insignificant blip. Neither are wrong for their response. So why does one develop Post Trauma Stress and not the other? Each person brings in their unique lived experience, their personality, temperament, emotional intelligence, coping strategies, and life experiences that either supports their resilience or highlights their unprocessed events.

​Adverse Childhood Experiences matter

People who have adverse childhood experiences are at risk for anxiety, depression or PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Adverse Childhood Experiences can include:

• Witnessing or experiencing physical or verbal abuse in your home

• The death of a parent

• Having a parent who is incarcerated

• Divorce

• Parental alienation, or a parent who relinquishes his/her parental rights

• A family member with mental illness

• Neglect

• Financial instability, going homeless or hungry

• A family member struggle with substance abuse

• Sexual Assault

• A family member who has a critical illness or a life altering medical diagnosis.

Unprocessed trauma can disrupt and negatively impact your attention, your physical health, your productivity, and your relationships. Trauma can cause:

• Anxiety

• Trouble concentrating or focusing

• Tension and conflict in your relationships

• Depression

• Feelings of powerlessness and hopelessness

• Anger

• Isolation and Avoidance

Do I have PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)?

This is a tough question, because, even if you don’t meet all the criteria for a diagnosis of PTSD based on the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual), if you have symptoms, you should still take the time to process your experience to help prevent a future PTSD diagnosis.

Some people may never develop a full PTSD diagnosis. But live with hypervigilance or a sense of intrusive anxiety. People who have had other adverse life experiences, especially those with adverse childhood experiences, are at risk for developing PTSD. Sometimes, people are really good at masking their symptoms and/or thoughts, that it may take years before they meet the criteria for a PTSD diagnosis, which can come after another life event triggers similar feelings.

It helps to meet with a therapist trained in traumaIf you have experienced a stressor over a month ago and have been struggling with

• Intrusive thoughts

• Change in mood, behaviors or thoughts

• Hyper-vigilance or Hyper-arousal

• Avoidance of sights, smells, or any reminder of the negative events

• Getting lost in your thoughts and losing the concept of time so much that you spend extended periods of time without recollection

Complex trauma, C-PTSD.

Even though C-PTSD is not a formal diagnosis in the DSM V TR, it’s a term used to label when a person has several instances of trauma, especially if there is repeated and pervasive exposure to various types of trauma, such as:

• Witnessing or experiencing Physical and/or Verbal Abuse / Domestic Violence

• Repeated Neglect or abandonment

• Prolonged repeated exposure to sexual assault

• Repeated periods of financial instability (without food/shelter)

• First Responder and Medical Professional trauma.

Don’t be fooled! The word “complex” doesn’t mean you are complicated.....you too can still find healing and relief! Complex Trauma means that you have some adverse life experiences that, when left untreated, can and will create relationship and personal character struggles. What makes it “complex” is that there are several events, beliefs, and behaviors to heal. Often times, people with complex trauma experience feelings of:

• Feelings of Shame, Guilt, or worthlessness

• Feeling that others or the world is not safe

• Unable to feel connected in their romantic relationships

• Struggle maintaining healthy boundaries in friendships and relationships

• Feel like an emotionally distant parent

• Lack a sense of identity or purpose

• Feel unloved or that something is wrong with them

• Struggle to manage the emotions and thoughts

Once you identify the most significant events and how they influence your behaviors and your thoughts, we spend the time working on changing that narrative and healing your mind, body and soul! The truths you believe about yourself are the lies you learned to survive your childhood environment.

The problem with unresolved trauma..

​Trauma makes it hard to concentrate at work or for some, a busier work life becomes their antidote for intrusive thoughts and feelings. But it’s actually just avoidance, and after a while, your body begins to physically respond with deteriorating health and your personal relationships are laden with struggles.

As trauma has the tendency to cause you to isolate, you will find that you immerse yourself in work, books, social media scrolling or other mind-numbing or occupying activities. You might begin to avoid social settings because it feels unsafe to be in crowded places or because you feel like your friends and/or family don’t understand you anymore and now you both no longer know how to relate with one another. You begin to feel alone, different and misunderstood.

Your emotions and behaviors seem all consuming, that you begin to withdraw from your loved one or they begin to withdraw themselves, uncertain of how to approach you, which can further cement the feelings of despair.

At work, you may not be able to keep up with the work demands, or you notice that you are so hyper-focused on putting all your energy in to your work that your personal life, work/life balance begins to to diminish or become nearly extinct.